Reasons you cannot trust me to inhabit your body:

  • I will, without even a moments thought, go to a tattoo parlor and have one or more t-rex tattoos drawn on your arms, shoulder, back and legs.
  • I will not pay the man who did it, and will instead throw grated carrots in his face and run away.
  • So to sum up: You will be covered in tattoo dinosaurs, you will be wanted for not paying for services rendered, and you will suffer a significant loss of grated carrots.
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dekuelegy:

theproofisinthesloth:

Scout: Me too!
Spy: yes, I may kill Scout in the confusion.

Can we talk about this because it’s beautiful.

I love to talk about this, let’s talk about this.

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dirkstridesalot:

whatintheworlddidshejustpost:

neonir:

DAYMAN

*Aaaauuaaaaahhh*

FIGHTER OF THE NIGHT MAN

*Aaaauuaaaaahhh*

CHAMPION OF THE

SUN

*Aaaauuaaaaahhh*

YOU’RE A MASTER OF KARATE

AND FRIENDSHIP

FOR EV ERY ONE!

DAYMAN?

image

BITCH PLEASE

Score one for mlp fandom!

Did you just hear a whoosing sound?

Cause I think something just went over your head.

A list of things that TOTALLY DONT MAKE ME WANT TO STRANGLE PEOPLE IN A SHOPPING CENTRE:

1) A line of people walking slowly through a corridor, spread out enough to stop anyone passing them, because who the hell cares if you have a crowd of people waiting to pass you, who cares if the moment the area widens for a moment, six people push past you, YOUR SOCIAL GROUP FUCKING MATTERS TO US. THANK YOU FOR THAT.

2) People reaching escalators, and suddenly stopping dead still to stare straight ahead, standing right in the middle, so that the escalator will sloooooowly take them to the top, so they dont have to WALK 10 GODDAMN FUCKING METERS BECAUSE OH YEAH IT’LL GET YOU UP EVENTUALLY. RIGHT!?

3) People who start to think about what they want to order only as they reach the counter. Yes, you could have been thinking about it a moment ago while we waited in line for 8 minutes, I’m sure it was hard to decide on “I’ll have a popcorn chicken snackbox”, and I mean, yeah, you could have stayed out of line till you had decided, so you didn’t waste anyone elses time, but no, feel free to sit there and gawk at the menu for another 3 minutes while I run late for my movie.

4) You three people each have a trolley full of stuff. A large majority of it is vegetable goods and unscannable items, that require navigating a series of menues to find and would be much more efficiently done by someone with experience. SO YOU JUST GO RIGHT AHEAD AND WATCH ME WAIT HERE LIKE THE GODDAMN LAZY ASS FUCK I AM WHILE YOU EACH SPEND A GODDAMN HOUR BEFORE CALLING ASSISTANCE OVER INSTEAD OF JUST GOING THROUGH THE GODDAMN NORMAL CHECKOUT.

5) BY ALL MEANS. JUST WALK ALONG THE MIDDLE OF THE GODDAMN ROAD. IT’S NOT LIKE IT’S A REAL ROAD. IT’S IN A CARPARK SO OBVIOUSLY ALL THE CARS ARE SUPER HAPPY TO JUST SIT AND WAIT BEHIND YOU AS YOU WALK YOUR SLOW ASSES DOWN THE GODDAMN ROAD IN FRONT OF ME. OH YEAH, AND GIVE ME THE FINGER AS I LEAVE. THAT WOULD REALLY MAKE MY FUCKING DAY.

thelindsaytuggey:

IIIIIII CAAAAAAAN BEEEEEE ANYYYYYTHIIIIIIIIIIIIIING

…this sounds like randy newman somehow.

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It’s getting to such a point now, where I cant listen to music and not doze into daydream immediately.

There’s not even like…a period of settling down or like, getting distracted, the music starts, and then a scene is playing out in my head again.

This either really good, or kinda bad.

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pleatedjeans:

via

I think, naturally, most people in the world, are pretty awful.

The awfulness can vary, but at the same time, but it’s present in most people.

What varies more is the buffer.

The buffer varies from situation to situation, and from person to person.

One person, who, one on one, can be like an angel as they careful handpick their words to suit you, can also be an asshole when in a crowd of people.

Likewise, many people, when given anonymity, just ditch the buffer cause “who cares?”

I often find myself, particularly when tired, catching myself on the bufferzone, as I’m writing something, very rarely offensive, just really dumb and unnecessary.

And I often wonder, how much better would youtube be, if people just had to read their own words aloud.

Just once.

Acknowledge the impossibly stupid thing they just said for literally no reason at all, and just..

ctrl+a > delete.

rawrism:

Don’t start an argument with a girl because they all have 45020194 GB memories and will bring up something you did at 14:23PM on 23/04/2007

It is estimated that the human brain’s ability to store memories is equivalent to about 2.5 petabytes of binary data.

A terrabyte is one million Gigabytes.

In a lifetime we generally wont fill up this amount of information.

If you ‘girls’, whatever strange horrific creatures you must be to achieve such a thing, are capable of containing more than 45 million GB of memory, you are firstly, evolving your brains in peverse, and in my opinion, totally nerdy ways, The likes of which, human kind has never seen before. Requiring to virtually the very fabric of reality to contain what almost reaches to twenty times as much data as the normal human brain with no increase in neurons.

And secondly, you must be one of the following:

Simply…AWFUL at compressing files, you probably have like a whole heap of addware clogging up your brains, I’d install a hard drive cleaner.

Or you are preeeetty much immortal and have been this way for all of time.